null

this is the time of year that i truly hate north dakota. there was a snow storm last night. after one snow my whole world has turned gray and brown. it is so depressing around here. the sky is gray and the snow is brown from people driving over it. how can one not be depressed when they are thrust from a technicolor world to this hazy mess? maybe california would be the best place for me...

anyway, despite the snow problem my mom and brother left for the weekend so i am stuck home alone with nothing much to do. (maybe i should find some friends? nah) so i rented The Fall, Eyes Wide Shut, and Amadeus and bought some cherry garcia. however, i remain bored. can't wait to go to work tomorrow and sell tools and paint! (sarcasm...)

http://flickr.com/photos/adenomay/

this guy is an amazing photographer and only 17 years old! makes me worry about all of these wasted years. blah. don't want to go to class tomorrow. still wanting to drop out. what's new?

i must confess, i am in love with my own sins

more from my collection of pics. trying to be a photographer i guess. i will upload the ones from the wreckage yard on friday. interesting stuff.

this doesn't seem fair at all but cookies go to anyone that can name the songs that my titles always come from lol way to be unoriginal liz

tick tock we dance to the beat

it has been a while. i dont even have any excerpts or anything right now. just little ol me.

i want to get out.

and i plan on it.

you know how you always run out of toilet paper on bad days? then you are left there to search around your bathroom judging each thing by how well it would wipe and subsequently flush down the toilet. i feel this is a sufficient metaphor for my life right now

(i took that pic today jsyk)

can't wait for the new fob. thinking about quitting school again of course. i wish someone could just tell me what to do. that would help a lot.

everyone please go and vote for someone that moves you as much as obama has moved me

he quotes Faulkner for crying out loud! so much can be said with a great quote (i think i may be channeling my inner Wilde)

Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson
page 57 "The Philosopher

"Doctor Parcival began to plead with George Willard. 'You must pay attention to me,' he urged ' If something happens perhaps you will be able to write the book that I may never get written. The idea is very simple, so simple that if you are not careful you will forget it. It is this - that everyone in the world is Christ and they are all crucified. That's what i want to say. Don't you forget that. Whatever happens, don't you dare let yourself forget."

still enamored with the null that we call life. this town is holding me down. the people and the ideas here are so one dimensional. ranting and raging to nobody on this pixelated page but there was an interesting and inspiring passage i read the other day in a book titled "A Rebours" by Huysmans. of course, i speak no french so i was reading the translation by Robert Baldick

"Against Nature" page 92

"He too preached the nullity of existence, the advantages of solitude, and warned humanity that whatever it did, whichever way it turned, it would always remain unhappy - the poor because of the sufferings born of privation, the rich because of the unconquerable boredom engendered by abundance."

been focusing a lot on existentialism and nihilism lately...don't know exactly what to think about everything in this world and even a possible other world but i do know one thing: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is the best book I have read.

page 200:

"You need not be afraid. Our countrymen never recognize a description."
"They are practical"
"They are more cunning than practical. When they make up their ledger, they balance stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy."
"Still, we have done great things."
"Great things have been thrust on us, Gladys."
"We have carried our burden."
"Only as far as the Stock Exchange."
She shook her head "I believe in the race," she cried.
"It represents the survival of the pushing."
"It has development."
"Decay fascinates me more."
"What of Art?" she asked.
"It is a malady."
"Love?"
"An illusion."
"Religion?"
"The fashionable substitute for Belief."
"You are a sceptic."
"Never! Scepticism is the beginning of Faith."
"What are you?"
"To define is to limit."
"Give me a clue."
"Threads snap. You would lose your way in the labyrinth"

yes, i am an english major...

feminists make me want to stab myself in the eye with blunt objects. at least, my american lit prof does. today's peice of writing comes from The Piano Lesson by August Wilson.
act II scene 5

Boy Willie: "I'll tell you this...and ain't a living soul can put a come back on it. If you believe that's where you at then you gonna act that way. If you act that way then that's where you gonna be. It's as simple as that. Ain't no mystery to life. - Berniece say the colored folks is living at the bottom of life. I tried to tell her if she think that...that's where she gonna be. You think you living at the bottom of life?"

well, do you?

wake up, wake up the sun

so, here are the detes: i wanted a blog that my friend's just didn't know about and could be looked at completely unbiased. i want to post about the things i love...no emo rants, no perfectly angled pictures. just art for art's sake. with that said i would like to start this with Kerouac

from On The Road by Jack Kerouac

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders accross the starts and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"